


have faith in me

by outofaith



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV), Peaky Blinders RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BAMF OFC, Childhood Friends, Cigarettes, F/M, Family Fluff, Getting Back Together, Marriage Proposal, One-Sided Relationship, Poisoning, Tommy Shelby Needs a Hug, because tommy shelby you guys, but not between the main characters, cause i kind of kill her but off scene, he sleeps with her just because he can but it's not described, i don't like grace guys, it's implied - Freeform, it's just grace trying to get information out of tommy and tommy knowing that she's a spy, john and esme are big fans of PDA, kind of, like most straight couples, no beta we die like men, oh i almost forgot, polly knows far too much, so if you're a fan this probably ain't for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:06:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outofaith/pseuds/outofaith
Summary: Arabella was the beginning of everything. And yet, she slipped right through his fingers. Her words, the ones that Tommy repeated like a mantra every single day, resonated inside his mind, "Have faith in me, Thomas,"And Tommy did.
Relationships: Esme Shelby/John Shelby, Grace Burgess/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Tommy Shelby/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	have faith in me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! Hope you guys like this! Sorry for any mistakes, I'm two bottles of wine in and can't for the life of me check everything for any grammar mistakes!

Polly’s gaze on him was a heavy weight as he sat down for breakfast with the rest of his family - Even without meeting her eyes, he knew they held a serious discontentment, maybe even a little bit of judgment. He tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that was crawling down his spine. 

After he bought the new house, his family had taken to spending most of their time there and it became something akin to a routine, having breakfast together. Tommy reached for his tea and raised his head, meeting Polly’s gaze with a confidence he didn’t really feel. “Is there something at the matter, Pol?” 

At once, all conversation came to a halt, as if the room was collectively holding its breath. Polly pursed her lips and slowly brought her first cigarette of the day to her lips. “Not at all,” She murmured, letting out the smoke. “Although, perhaps the next time you want to spend your evening running around with a whore, you should at least choose one that knows her place and disappears after you are done with her” In a delicate movement Polly sipped her tea before continuing, “You are not naive nor are you stupid, both of which are particularly surprising when one takes into consideration the fact that you are fucking the same person who is spying on you - on us - for the police”

Tommy blinked and resisted the urge to lower his eyes like a scolded little boy. Instead of turning his gaze downcast, he brought his own cigarette for a slow inhale, taking his time in letting the smoke out, attempting to gain himself a few moments before having to face the cold reality that was always accompanied by sad and understanding looks. “I know who she is, Pol. I’m well aware of the fact that she is working with Campbell. There is nothing to it, she wants information and thinks she will get it by falling into my bed, I am merely using the opportunity to get something out of it”

Polly’s answer came in the form of a derisive chuckle and a condescending movement of her head, “Men and their whores” She tutted lowly and then her eyes changed. They still held their customary calculating look, but there was concern there; Sympathy and a discrete touch of sorrow. “It isn’t healthy, Thomas.”

Tommy felt the change in the air, the sudden vulnerability that he made a conscious effort to hide but that his family never failed to notice. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” He dismissed with a flick of his cigarette. However, the reply came from Arthur this time, his tone careful and tentative.

“Tommy, it’s been years. I know it wasn’t her choice to go away and we all miss her dearly, she was a part of this family. But maybe it’s time to accept that she might not return” Tommy’s blue eyes turned to stare out of the windows. He knew that but for once in his life, he chose not to face the facts.

“To-” Tommy stood up and was out of the room before John could even finish saying his name.

He had business to attend, people to meet and places to be, instead he found himself walking into his office. It was early, too early for him to wallow in despair and attempt to fool himself into thinking that the burning on his throat came from the whiskey and not from the bitter taste of his own misery. Already he had another cigarette burning between his fingers and, just like every night when he could not sleep without suffocating in his longing, he pulled the rectangular wooden box from the locked drawer of his desk.

He ran his hand over the lid reverently, when he finally found the strength to open it he noticed that his cigarette had already burned out. He picked up first the stack of letters and envelopes, all tied together by a string; He didn’t open them, but the paper was worn and the corners yellowed due to the countless times he spent his nights reading and rereading the familiar writing. What he was looking for was under them - half a dozen photos, all with frayed edges and a little wrinkled. 

A few of them from when they were kids, laughing with their arms around each other, when every person who knew them told them they were going to end up together; A picture of the two of them wrapped around each other, just as they had started to date; A couple of her with his brothers, Ada and Polly, and so on. The one he picked up and held at eye level was one where she was alone, the one she sent to him with her last letter.

It was a simple portrait, really. She was sitting, with her back straight and her hands folded gently over her lap, an intricate dress that he knew was dark green because she described it in her letter. Her lean frame was decorated with jewelry, like she was supposed to be on display. Her head was held high as she stared down the camera, her lips quirked into a gentle smile. Her long dark hair had been styled with care until it curled just right. Tommy touched the picture with gentle fingers, as if he touched it too harshly, it would crumble into ashes.

He closed his eyes as his mind played the words she told him the night before her brother forced her into a train and away from everything she held dear - away from him. The very same words she wrote at the end of every letter until the man she was forced into marrying forbade any kind of communication. _"I know you’re not a man of faith, Thomas. But have faith in me. I will always find my way back to you.”_

The last time she wrote to him she informed him that she would find a way to return to Birmingham. No matter what the cost, she was going to return to her home. To him.

Tommy knew he was a dangerous man, he knew people were afraid of him and aware of the fact that he was capable of anything and because of that, because he knew of what he was capable of, was that he knew that Arabella was probably even more dangerous than him. She was intelligent, cunning and resourceful, if anyone could find a way out of an unwanted situation, it was her.

However, maybe his family was right. Maybe it was time to forget about the past and give up on silly hopes that might never come true. Maybe it was time for him to finally put an end to the ridiculous charade with Grace, it was getting rather tiresome to pretend like he wasn’t aware of her little game of spy. 

A knock on the door roused him from his musings, he cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his eyes, “Yes?” Polly walked inside his office and her expression took him aback, “What is it?”

Polly blinked a couple of times before responding, “Have you seen the paper this morning?” He frowned at her, not fully comprehending what was the cause for her cautious words.

“No, I haven’t had the time,” She nodded once and handed him the paper. “Go to the obituaries,” She instructed and he felt his heart sink to his stomach.

He clenched his teeth and turned to the right page, his eyes skimming through it until he finally found what had Polly looking so shocked.

_“YOUNG HEIRESS MOURNS THE LOSS OF BELOVED HUSBAND AND CHERISHED BROTHER”_

Tommy’s eyes were fast as he took in the printed words and, sure enough, there was a detailed description.

_”We regret to inform you of the tragic passing of Sir Kenneth Astley and Mr. Howard Byron, both on the same night as the two gentlemen shared drinks and discussed business. Mr. Astley’s wife, now widow, was the younger sister of Mr. Byron - the lady was away on a month long trip to visit an old friend, two towns away. The doctors could not identify the causes of death. A close friend of the young widow informs us that she is, in fact, “devastated by the news” and “wrecked with a sorrow so deep she refused to see anyone for three days”. We were told that the lawyers from both gentlemen were surprised when faced by the widow’s shocked reaction as she learned that both her late brother and late husband had, on a secret meeting, made her the sole heiress to both fortunes. Mrs. Astley has since then performed large donations to a number of charities around the Country.”_

The article went on, talking about the influence of the two men but Tommy’s eyes traveled to the picture below and, sure enough, Arabella stood there dressed in somber mourning attire.

“Pol, do you suppose that she-” He stopped short, his eyes wide as he stared up at her. Polly seemed, for once, at a loss. 

“I don’t know,” She confessed and Tommy nodded faintly. He looked at the paper once again and stood up to light a cigarette.

/*/

The week was over quickly, a blur of meetings with business associates and threatening those very same associates. He walked into the Garrison and shook his head in amusement as the noise of celebration reached him.

The place was full. Family, Peaky Blinders, regular friends and music. Polly and Ada were talking and laughing over glasses of champagne, Arthur was at the bar loudly telling a story or another and John and Esme were already groping one another. He greeted those who passed by him and hugged Polly and his sister as he waited for his whiskey. 

Grace was quick to deliver it, not without a coy smile, her hand lingering on his own in a way that made him want to shoot her before he had planned to. With his drink in hand he walked to the back of the pub, needing to be alone, once again his thoughts were straying to the dangerous path of longing for a woman who was not there.

Just as he raised his glass for the first time, the noise of the pub seemed to dim little by little until it died down completely. Tommy was well aware that that never meant anything good, he tossed back his drink and walked back to the main part of the place, only to stop on his tracks.

Walking into the Garrison like she owned it, wrapped into a dark green velvet coat lined with fur, pearls around her neck, black gloves and long curled hair was Arabella. She kept walking like the sudden silence was nothing out of the ordinary, only stopping once she reached the bar. In slow movements she removed her coat, revealing a bronze coloured dress made of silk and satin with golden shoulder straps.

Tommy felt like he was incapable of moving, as if even blinking might shatter the fact that the only woman he had ever loved, had ever trusted, was right in front of him. Polly, Ada, John and Arthur seemed to be in shock as well, neither of them had moved or taken their eyes off of her.

And oh, Arabella was always a beautiful woman. Even when they had been going through puberty where people looked awkward, Arabella had been beautiful. She had been beautiful when they had shared a kiss for the first time, when they were only fourteen. She had been beautiful under the moonlight on the night they had first made love, both of them fumbling and laughing breathlessly, figuring things out as they went. The first time he told her he loved her, she had been beautiful. Their last night together, with tears streaming down her face and her hair in disarray from the harsh winds, she had still been beautiful.

Now she was standing in front of him after eight years, dressed in expensive clothing and looking deadly as she scanned the pub with a sly smile and sharp eyes. And she was still just as beautiful as she was before. Perhaps even more so. Even from a distance, he noticed that her eyes held an understanding of suffering that had not been there when she left.

He was aware of the fact that she was planning something, nothing ever escaped her and, if he knew her as well as he thought he did, she had been keeping tabs on all of them. Finally, Arabella placed a small purse on top of the bar and, with a cigarette between gloved fingers, looked straight at Grace - Her expression changed to something dangerous then, the glint on her eyes was one Tommy knew very well. He wanted to look at Polly, tell her to do something and prevent what had the potential to become a catastrophe, but he found that he was unable to tear his gaze from her.

“You must be Grace,” Arabella said, speaking for the first time since she arrived and Tommy felt himself breathing in sharply at the sound of her voice. Grace looked a little spooked, not responding right away, Arabella seemed annoyed at that and sharply arched an eyebrow. “Well then girl, are you going to stare at me all night or are you going to pour me a drink?”

That seemed to do the trick, in a moment Grace was in front of her, “Of course, what can I get you ma’am?” Arabella brought the cigarette to her lips once again before responding.

“Whiskey. Irish.” As soon as the glass was in front of her she turned sharp eyes back at Grace. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you Grace?”

Grace frowned at her but eventually nodded. “I am. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name,”

Arabella seemed amused as she took a sip of her drink, “That's because I haven't told you yet. I used to be Ms. Byron, but I got married and became Mrs. Astley, sadly both my husband and brother died in a very tragic manner a couple of weeks ago,”

“I’m very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Astley,” Grace offered in a soft voice that grated Tommy's nerves.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. It’s not necessary at all. And please, don’t call me Mrs. Astley, I've never liked the title,” She dismissed.

“How should I call you then, ma’am?” It seemed that that was the question Arabella was waiting for, for she leaned forward, just a little bit, like a predator, and answered Grace with a smile that Tommy knew from experience meant trouble.

“My name is Arabella, as for now I use my maiden name, Byron; Although, not for long, soon enough you will be able to address me as Mrs. Shelby,” Her voice was certain and the implications made Tommy feel like he was a schoolboy again. It rose whispers around the pub, but it died quickly when they heard her next words. “Well, _you_ won’t be able to do that, I suppose”

“I beg your pardon?” Grace seemed affronted and Tommy had to hand it to Arabella, he did not see the last part of it coming. If the gasping coming from Ada’s direction was anything to go by, neither had her and Polly.

“It’s really quite simple, sugar. I might not be a Shelby by name yet, but I consider them all family and you, Grace Burgess, are the whore sneaking around and spying on the family, _my family_ , for that absolute waste of space that is Inspector Campbell,” She paused to take another inhale of her cigarette before continuing, her tone light and friendly, a sharp contrast to her heavy words, “So you see sugar, I can’t possibly allow you to bring any harm to my family and that leaves us with only two choices, and is up to you to make it,”

Grace was pale and trembling. If the pub was silent before, now it was possible to hear the ticking of the clock, no one dared to move or to interfere. Most of the people there had been friends of their family for years, they all knew who Arabella was, knew how dangerous she could be. “Choices?” Grace finally said and Arabella nodded as she sipped her drink, taking her time to let the meaning behind her words fully sink in.

“Of course, sugar. I’m a woman of class, I’m well aware of proper etiquette. That being said, you can choose the one you like best, alright?” She posed it as a question, as if Grace really had any saying on what was going to happen next. Still, at Grace’s shaking nod, Arabella smiled, it made her look like a predator who had cornered her prey. “Fantastic! You can choose then between the bottom of the Canal or a shallow grave,” She informed flicking her cigarette, as if she was talking about the weather.

Grace seemed to realize she wouldn’t be able to run and she squared her shoulders in a show of bravado, saying in a loud voice, “There are people who will come looking for me, they know where I am,”

“Are you referring to Inspector Campbell, perhaps?” Arabella tilted her head and gave her a pitying look, slowly opening her purse and taking out a familiar pipe, she placed it neatly in front of Grace whose face crumbled as she realized the implications behind that simple gesture, “Well then, I apologize but it seems like I will be the one who bears the bad news. Inspector Campbell was found dead inside his apartment earlier tonight, the doctors couldn’t say what caused it,” She hummed as if in deep thought, picking up the pipe and twirling it between gloved fingers, “Now that I stop to think about it, it seems just like what happened to my late husband and brother. Truly tragic,” She nodded with a sorrowful expression that quickly turned into a wide grin.

There were a lot of things happening at once, a lot of new information and confirmations of previous assumptions. Tommy needed a drink and perhaps four or five cigarettes. No time for that, because the next moment Grace broke down crying, Arabella’s reaction was to beckon two of the men who worked for Tommy and give them directions to a place to take the sobbing woman, with strict instructions to "Shut her damn mouth, I don't care how you do it, just don't kill her yet, I have plans for the little blonde whore"

After they were gone, the entire pub seemed to be holding its breath. Finally, Arabella turned around and walked up to where he was standing - Leaning against a wall and observing her with a smirk that slowly gave way to a gentle smile. “Hello, my love,” She whispered when she came to stand in front of him. Tommy reached up with his right hand, cupping the soft skin of her cheek and she leaned into his hand, her eyes falling closed as if having him touching her was all that she needed to feel at ease once again. “Hello, my darling,” He murmured back at her. 

Once her eyes opened again, locking her green gaze into his own blue one, he found himself unable to help it anymore, he pulled her in for a kiss - a kiss that was slow and passionate and oh, a kiss that felt like home. They parted soon after and their foreheads touched in a show of intimacy, “I thought you were not coming back,” He confessed in a rushed whisper, “I told you, Thomas. I told you to have a little bit of faith in me. I will always find my way back to you, my love,” She whispered back, her gloved hands cupping his cheeks. However, before they could kiss again Arthur and John were right beside them pulling her away from him.

He laughed openly, a fact that seemed to surprise all the patrons, as she was swept up by Arthur in a hug that lifted her from the floor, then John was there, pulling her to the other side of the pub so she could meet Esme, talking a mile a minute as he proceeds to tell Arabella all about their kids.

It took a few moments, but once Arthur had informed everyone else that “the First Lady of the Peaky Fucking Blinders was fucking back”, everything went back to normal. Finally, Arabella managed to get back to where Tommy was standing with Polly and Ada.

“I've missed you so much,” Ada confessed as she hugged the other woman, the one that she considered a sister and the one she had missed dearly.

“Alright Ada, let me have a look at her,” Polly said and her voice was thick with emotion, even if no one would say it out loud. Polly looked at Arabella carefully, her knowing gaze roaming over her face, “They had no right to take you away. They had no right to hurt you." Polly stated, her eyes shining, "I am so glad you’re home now. I don't give a damn as to how you managed to, they had it coming," She told Arabella, who looked close to tears, before pulling her into a tight hug.

Once they parted, Arabella gravitated towards Tommy’s side, his arm wrapping around her waist in a movement both familiar and foreign. She leaned her face close to his own and her voice was soft as she murmured in his ear "I will tell you everything, my love. Everything you want to know, as soon as we get home," Tommy turned so he could look into her eyes, familiarizing himself once again with the depths of the bright green gaze, he nodded his answer and kissed Arabella once again, the two of them sharing soft smiles at the way she automatically referred to his house as her home, "When we get home. Our home,"

John and Arthur came over with fresh drinks, Esme giggling at something her husband whispered in her ear and blushing like a virgin on her wedding night. Polly raised her glass “A toast,” She said, loud enough only for them to hear, “To family, may we never be apart again,” She proposed.

Tommy could drink to that, it sounded like a damn good toast. He turned his head so he could look at Arabella, they raised their glasses and drained them in one go, sharing a kiss that tasted like Irish whiskey, cigarettes and, inevitably, like home.

/*/

It was past midnight when the two of them walked inside his house - their house, Tommy corrected himself, his mind still struggling to process the whirlwind of events that took place during the night.

He stepped behind Arabella, his hands running up her arms, only stopping when they got to her shoulders, gently urging her to give him her coat. Her head turned in his direction, offering him a soft smile before her hands undid the clasps of the heavy coat and letting it fall on his waiting hands.

He watched as she took in the interior of her new home, running her hands over surfaces and taking her time looking at the few pictures on display, her smile was tinted with a hint of longing and he knew she was thinking about all the moments she was not there to witness.

“You are here now, that’s all that matters,” He handed her a glass of whiskey as he came to stand at her side. Arabella was gazing intently at a portrait of John’s wedding; She turned to look at him and offered a small smile.

“I know that,” She murmured, her head leaning on his shoulder. They stood in comfortable silence until she stood straight once more and turned around, taking a seat at one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. She gazed at him intently and huffed a small laugh when all he did was arch one of his eyebrows. His lips quirked at the sound and he sipped his drink before indulging her.

“You don’t have to tell me,” He assured her, Arabella’s green eyes lost a little of their brightness and yet, she offered him a gentle shake of her head.

“Yes Thomas, I do have to tell you,” She regarded him with a long and calculating look, as if she was seeking something inside his own eyes. She seemed to find it, for the next moment she held out her hand, a silent invitation for him to sit beside her. Tommy walked forward and situated himself on the remaining armchair, he took her now ungloved hand and brought it to his lips. “I must warn you, though - You won’t like it and you will get angry. But my love, you must remember that it is all in the past, I took care of it,” Her voice washed over him.

He lowered her hand but did not let go of it, turning to fully look at her. In her eyes, Tommy found a mixture of sorrow, pain and relief. “I know you did, my darling,” Was his response and Arabella brought out a cigarette, doing her best to light it with only one hand, unwilling to part their touch.

“My brother wanted me gone,” She started, her gaze locked on the dancing flames of the fireplace, “He never did like me, always reminding me that he didn’t have a choice after our parents passed when I was little - He was already of age when it happened, as you already know. Howard, no matter how polished and proper he presented himself as, was particularly intimate with laudanum and because of that, he tended to gravitate towards the cream gin,” Her voice trailed off as she raised her cigarette once again, “Whenever he would overdo it, which was often, he would rage at me, saying that the only reason for me to still be living with him and not away at some Ladies’ College was because it made him look better in the eyes of the society;” Arabella allowed herself a sardonic laugh before disclosing the next part, “He came home once claiming to have found a ‘Dame School’. I remember that he would have some friends over sometimes for tea and people would always praise him for raising his younger sister and never asking for anything in return,

“I would always find a way to sneak out of his presence, he was not particularly interested in me, as you well know; All he cared about was how people would see him. That’s why he was so enraged once he found out about us, my love” Her head turned in his direction and she offered him a gentle smile which he returned.

Tommy remembered those days. Howard was none the wiser in regards to their long lasting friendship and her involvement with his family. He remembered how Arabella would show up at their door dressed like the perfect young lady, prim and proper - Only to bemoan and complain about the ridiculous clothes she was forced to wear. Tommy’s mind reminded him of the nights when he would sneak into her brother’s property and wait for her to come to him, always mindful not to make any kind of noise that could alert others to the fact that she was not in bed.

They would talk the night away; Tommy told her about his family’s business and everything that came with them and Arabella never judged or ran away, she always listened very carefully and, in turn, confided to him about her life living with her brother. The two would plan their future together, make plans to take over the world.

They shared their first kiss on one of those nights and it was also on one of their escapades that they had first made love, hidden behind a large oak tree.

Howard had found out about them on one of those nights as well. Tommy swallowed the rest of his whiskey, attempting to prepare himself to what he knew would come next.

“He was furious,” Arabella continued, her hand never letting go of his own and he found himself staring at her painted nails, “He told me he had found me a husband that was willing to overlook my indiscretions,” She laughed quietly, but the sound was strained and contemptuous, “Sent me away two days after that, I barely managed to find you before Howard was forcing me inside that godforsaken train,

Be that as it may, I was married by the end of that week and I promise you Thomas, the only reason I could endure that disgusting and decrepit old man was the certainty that I would return to you, for I entertained the idea of mixing arsenic in my teapot more than once,” Tommy raised his eyes at once, staring at Arabella’s stoic expression in horror, “Don’t fret, my love; I’m fine now,” Her smile was small but sincere and he forced himself to put an end to his panic. 

Tommy stood up and walked to the bar in the corner of the room, retrieving the bottle and topping their glasses; Arabella looked up at him with grateful eyes and waited for him to sit down once again, a cigarette between his fingers, “Kenneth was old and had been a widower for at least two decades, he jumped at the opportunity to have a beautiful young woman hanging from his arm,” She tutted and sipped her drink, cigarette long gone and replaced by a new one, “He liked to pretend that he was a great lover and was never pleased when his body failed to cooperate with his wishes; Of course, it ended up being my misfortune considering that his fondness for brandy rendered him a tad too rough. I learned rather quickly to tamper with the bottles,” Arabella granted him an amused half-smile, “A little bit of morphine goes a long way,

“Anyhow, I needed to wait as to not arouse suspicions, it gave me the opportunity to plan every little detail; So when my brother visited us I made sure that he indulged more than normal, as did Kenneth and, sure enough, they got to the point where I could have them doing as I pleased, after that it was rather simple; I wrote the letters to the lawyers, all they had to do was sign it,” Arabella paused then, looking at him with caution dancing in her eyes.

Tommy allowed himself a couple of deep breaths before meeting her gaze, “It’s alright, my darling. You did what was needed, what was best for you” He assured her, his tone low but determined to make her understand, “Hey,” He called softly, rising from his chair and kneeling in front of her, his hands reached up and caressed her face, the skin soft and smooth under his palms, “I love you,” Tommy muttered, his blue eyes fixed on hers, “I don’t care about how you got rid of them, it doesn’t matter; All that matters is that you are here now, safe and at home;” Arabella drew in a shaky breath, her small hands covering his own.

“I knew which bottles they were going to be drinking from, they were very predictable. I mixed their liquor with an infusion of Belladonna before I left the Estate; I knew that by the time its effect had taken place, I would’ve been away for enough time that no fingers would be pointed in my direction,” When she was finished, her voice was no louder than a murmur but Tommy had no trouble understanding it.

He blinked once before pulling her face down so their lips could meet on a kiss; They kissed almost frantically, desperate as he was to make her see that he understood her actions and loved her all the same, “I love you, my darling Arabella,” He stated as they tried to catch their breaths, their lips still touching with every word being said. Tommy opened his eyes, Arabella had her eyes closed, a small frown marring her lovely face, “My darling, I am in love with you. I have been loving you for more than two decades; I have waited for you to come back to me because my life without you was void of any kind of joy; 

What you did to them was something that had to be done so you could be free for the first time in your life and it does not change or diminishes my love for you; There is no scenario in which I would love you any less, I’m not able to do that, I’m not able to be alive if I am not loving you,” Tommy’s tone was intense and his blue eyes danced with the depths of his feelings. He was laying his heart and his soul at her feet and normally Tommy would rather put a bullet through his own shoulder than display any amount of vulnerability and yet, Arabella had always been the one person to make him feel safe and at peace.

As she opened her eyes, green orbs were shining with unshed tears and, instead of providing him with a reply, Arabella kissed him once again, overcome with emotion, passion and years of longing to be held by his arms that were always the place where she felt shielded from any and all harm; Being held by Thomas had always made Arabella feel like she could face anything that life would throw her way, because she was confident on the notion that he would never leave her side, just like she would never leave his.

“Thomas,” Her voice held a desperate lilt, “Thomas, wait;” She breathlessly pleaded and he drew back at once, eyes roaming over her face as he attempted to understand her anxious words. However, she pulled him close before he could even open his mouth, her forehead resting against his shoulder. Tommy felt his body relax and wrapped his arms around her waist, her head turned just enough for her lips to graze his ear when she spoke, “Thomas,” She muttered and he hummed in response, his right hand rising until it could rest on the back of her head, caressing the soft dark hair, “Thomas, I love you too,” Arabella said, “I've never stopped loving you; There was not a day that passed that I didn’t miss you, I've missed you so much it physically pained me;” 

His left hand let go of her narrow waist in turn to touch her chin and guide her head up so he could look into her eyes, “I know my darling, because I was in pain as well. But that was the past, we are together now and no one is going to tear us apart,” He promised and Arabella’s eyes traveled down to his lips before focusing once more on his eyes.

“My love,” She started and her voice had taken a different cadence, it was alluring and bewitching, Thomas could feel the change in the air around them, “Take me to bed,” She requested; Tommy rose from his kneeling position between her legs and in one fluid motion he picked her up; Arabella gasped as she wrapped her legs around his waist, the soft and delicate skin of her thighs rubbing against the rough material of his suit.

They entered his bedroom - their bedroom - between breathless kisses, his hands deftly undoing her dress; Tommy barely had the time to set her down on the large bed in the center of the room before her clothing was falling open, revealing her body to him. 

And her body was even more alluring then it was before she left; Miles of pale, porcelain skin enveloped in black silk and gold embroidery. Tommy felt his breath catch on his throat, as if punched out of him, at the sight of Arabella - Long, dark, curled hair framing her face, deep green eyes and dark red lips.

He had already lost his vest at some moment between the living room and the bedroom, his crisp white shirt was half unbuttoned and his trousers were undone. It took him barely any time at all to undress completely and sooner rather than later he found himself hovering over her laying form. “I’ve missed you so much, Thomas,” She confessed yet again, her painted lips brushing against his own pale ones. “Make love to me,” Arabella whispered, green eyes staring straight into his light blue gaze.

Tommy had the impression that he was in the middle of a pleasant dream - as if he would wake up at any moment to the cold and harsh reality of his everyday life, a reality that did not involve the presence of the one woman to ever capture his heart. He was suddenly brought back to the moment when Arabella’s lips grazed his chin, a soft kiss that could almost be confused for a delusion, her voice was breathless as she addressed him “I’m here, my love;” She said, “Be here with me, I need you to be here with me,”

He looked down at her, at her laying body beneath him, pale skin and dark hair, bottomless green eyes that stared right into his soul; Tommy kissed her. The kiss seemed out of place in the middle of their passionate acts, for it was a kiss that was gentle and soft, filled with the promise of a future together. 

Tommy could not remember the sequence of his actions, but as if in mere seconds, no piece of fabric remained. Suddenly they were skin to skin. Hot, almost feverish flesh touching, reminding him that it was not an opium induced dream.

His hand traveled from her cheek, to her hip, to her thigh, until it gripped the soft skin and guided it to encircle his waist. He could feel his member, so hard it almost made him dizzy, but instead of giving into the animalistic urge of claiming her, Tommy stopped, taking a moment to truly look at her. 

Arabella was there, finally there! Like a prayer that was finally heard and answered. He had longed and yearned and wished for her to be in his arms again and, just when he was on the verge of losing hope, she had walked right back into his life, as if she had never left. Tommy usually would hate the feeling of being at the mercy of another human being, but not with Arabella - no. Arabella was his just as much as he was hers; Time could pass and life could be as unforgivable as it could, they were always going to find their ways back together. 

“I love you, Thomas,” Arabella gasped softly, and it was with those words resonating inside his mind that Tommy finally gave into his most carnal urges and entered her in one swift movement.

It was nothing like the times they had made love before and at the same time it was exactly the same. He still knew that her most sensitive spot was right below her right ear and that she would moan the loudest if he were to grip her hips firmly to the mattress, to the point where she could not move them to meet his thrusts. And yet, he was not familiarized with the sharp angles of her hips or the soft scar tissue on the top of her left thigh, “What-” His inquiry was interrupted by a particularly high pitched whine, a result of his change of angle.

“It’s not important, I-” Arabella broke off her explanation, her sharp nails digging into his back, surely leaving behind deep scratches that Tommy would press his fingers to the day after, a reminder that she was truly there, “Tommy, I won’t last much longer,” She gasped and he rested his forehead on her shoulder, hiding from her his dazed look.

“Me neither, my darling,” He assured her. It took barely any time at all after their breathless trade of words until both of them were tumbling over the edge. Their orgasms were intense like never before.

Tommy fell on top of her, his arms bracketing his fall so he wouldn’t hurt her with his weight. He moved to her side, propping himself on the headboard and reaching for a cigarette, Arabella’s messy dark curls resting on his chest, her slender hands stealing the cigarette from his fingers.

“Are you ever going to tell me the story behind those marks, my darling?” Tommy asked and she hummed in response.

“Yes, my love; But not tonight. There was enough grief for one night,” Was her response. Tommy supposed that he couldn’t fault her. Reluctant like Tommy could never before remember being in his life, he left her embrace, leaning over to rummage through the bottom drawer of his side table, “What are you doing?” Her voice reached him, a light laugh painting her tone. He emerged with his right hand closed in a fist and, before doing anything else, Tommy cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply.

“I have been dreaming of having you back in my arms for so long now,” He told her, voice as soft as a murmur, “I saw this, three weeks after you left, and I knew it belonged to you,” 

Arabella looked at him, her eyes confused, but before she could ask any questions, Tommy opened his hand and presented her with the view of a large diamond ring, “Thomas, it’s beautiful,” She told him in a low voice.

“I know that I’m not a man of faith, but deep inside my soul I knew that you would be back, that we would be together again,” He told her, sharp eyes fixated on her face, “Arabella,” He called; And Tommy felt breathless and nervous, cold blue eyes becoming warm and dazed with emotion, “Arabella,” He called again and her gaze snapped up to his, “I love you, my darling,” He told her, a gentle smile playing on the corners of his mouth, “Marry me,” 

It wasn’t a question, neither it was a demand, more of a fact that was finally being stated out loud, “Thomas,” She said, face stuck on an expression of shock before finally giving way to a private smile, “Of course I’ll marry you, Thomas,” Her words suddenly lost on a delighted laugh, as her lips met his on a loving kiss.

/break/

Breakfast was a large ordeal, as it always was with his family. Tommy hid a smile behind a cup of his morning tea and a cigarette as he watched Arabella sip her coffee and try to pay attention to John’s words at the same time. 

She was reaching for a scone when Polly’s voice made all conversation stop around the room, “I take that you two had a lovely night, then?” Polly said and Arabella knew Polly far too well to mistake her words for an innocent question.

“Quite remarkable, yes,” Was the answer and Polly smiled at her over her teacup.

“And on the matter of the blonde whore?” She asked; Tommy would have been worried with the repercussions of such harsh words so early in the morning, but there was no need for that.

“Taken care of; Won’t be a problem anymore,” Arabella informed. Polly’s face was adorned by a smirk but the next words came from Esme.

“What a beautiful ring!” She exclaimed, “Should we expect a wedding soon, then?” She asked and suddenly all eyes were on Arabella’s left hand.

Arabella smiled. A private, knowing smile, and her green eyes traveled over all those present at the breakfast table before finally stopping as they reached Tommy’s blue gaze, “Oh Esme,” She said, “If I were to ask you for your assistance in the planning, would you mind terribly?” She posed it as a question, but the smile playing on her face was a teasing one.

Arthur suddenly raised his teacup, as if it were a champagne flute, urging a toast, soon followed by John and with the background of Polly’s delighted laugh, “Fucking finally!” Arthur said, voice loud and joyful.

Tommy’s usually cold blue eyes were warm and welcoming as he assessed his family, finally complete; Behind his teacup, hidden from view and from prying ears, he agreed with Arthur, “Fucking finally, indeed,” No one could hear him, but he had an inkling that Arabella knew exactly what it was that Tommy had toasted to.

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving me kudos and a comment!


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